Tuesday, October 11, 2011

'Tak tanya pun' in a Ping-pong Game

I remember a game I used to play as a child with my circle of friends where everyone would tease each other with this phrase - 'tak tanya pun'. It is uttered when one spontaneously gave away too much information about what he did earlier before being asked. At first, it was fun but when the phrase was often said, it was so annoying that I specifically remember, wanting to smack another kid's face for her continuous use of such phrase.

Several days ago, I was reminded of this phrase. As newbies to any pack, the three of us (my parents and I) agreed to mingle around during meal times. Empty seats for three were often rare occasions. We struck lottery only when we would join readily-occupied tables with a couple whom are at midst of delighting their own meals.

It was not much of a required matter to have a conversation but we tend to mingle when we are at the present of strangers. I believe that this is what most of us call as socializing. We say hello, get to know the other party, ask where they are from, crack a few jokes before moving on. Maybe. Sometimes we remember them when we pass them; other times, it was just another passing moment.

Nonetheless, its dynamics is complex. Socializing, by theory, takes two to tango. When one starts the dance, the other is expected to react. Otherwise, there is no dance. 

It is this similar dynamics that would happen in any socializing process until one decides to leave the floor. When a question is asked, it needs the favour to be returned. It is not as much as minding one's business but more of making small talks. Sometimes, a smile or a raised brow would suffice. It is this same matter that relieves stress after a crazy tug-of-war episode at the overcrowded Saie Door or the battle against the contagious cough. It is another simple human form of connecting and getting along with each when difficulties test the most of us. But when one decides not to return the favour in this ping-pong like situation, one actually disconnects himself from the socializing process. The reason can be numerous. One of which is the possibility that he is hesitant over prying eyes. So the silence. 

But here again,  some are never equipped with the understanding that the other party has decided to bail out from the ping-pong game and so they continues to talk. Now, when this happens, that party would risk himself into a vulnerable state of 'tak tanya pun' (normally  not uttered).

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